The Tea Party is holding their convention at "Earl's Dew
Drop Inn and Radiator Repair" in Bladderleak, Iowa. The keynote address
will be given by Fuzzy Kowalski if he's out on parole by then. With a special
appearance by Guido Manucho. Sarah Palin's gunsmith and hairstylist!
Not to be outdone by the Republicans, the Democrats will have
Sandra Lockhart read Eastwoods divorce settlement at their convention. Neener,
Neener, Neener!
It seems Iraqis love American fast food. Franchise's are popping
up everywhere. 'Jack in the Burka', & 'Turban Bell' I understand but
they've gone too far with McHammad's Camel Pounder with goat cheese!
Researchers have discovered men who eat chocolate can lower
their stroke chances. Who would've thought a Hershey bar could help your golf
game?
Allstate has announced the worst drivers in America are in our
nations capitol. I think that's unfair. Any senator can tell you how hard it is
to drive while e-mailing nude pictures of themselves.
President Obama has been busy helping the victims of Hurricane
Issac. He reassured the people saying, "Don't worry you'll each be
receiving the 6,000 page application for your Obama-Care benefits in the
mail...of course that's if you still have a mailbox."
Ann Romney won over the crowd last night at the R.N.C. with her
heartwarming story of years ago when she and Mitt had to use an ironing board
as a dinner table. She later explained that she and Mitt had never seen an ironing
board before because as she put it, "that's probably something the
servants use I suppose", and that they actually thought it was a table
from Ikea.
The opening speech at the Republican National Convention really
got the crowd going. It was particularly stirring when Chris Christie got crazy
and tried to get Dunkin Donuts designated a National Shrine! (go figure?)
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