The Double-standard is Alive and Well...Unfortunately

The Double-standard is Alive and Well for Both Sexes

   There appears to be some preconceived attitudes toward the sexes that we’ve

accepted into our culture. As petty and meaningless as they are they’re probably

hindering communications just the same. It’s as if society condones subconscious

sexism. For example; ‘Diamonds are a girl’s best friend’. ‘A dog is man’s best friend’. If

a little boy is bad ‘he’s a little devil’. If a little girl is good ‘she’s an angel’, If your mean

boss is a man he’s ‘a frickin’ tyrant’. If the boss is a woman ‘she’s asserting her

authority’. The biggest bed you can buy is a King size, the second biggest; a Queen.

   If a woman uses a lot of four letter words she’s ‘liberated’. If a man does, he’s

‘a loudmouth pig’. Not to get sidetracked here but let’s face it today’s American culture

isn’t exactly brimming over with class.  When NBC ignores a moment of 911 silence to

broadcast an interview with the Kardashians mom about her brand new store bought

love pillows the train to good taste Armageddon has no doubt left the station. 

   It works in both directions. If a teenage boy is promiscuous he’s ‘sewing his wild oats’.

If a teenage girl gets around, she’s labeled a tramp. For that matter when it comes to

sexuality men worked it out so there’s no way for women to win. If she sleeps with you

she’s a slut, if she doesn’t, she’s a prude. If she goes part way and stops, she’s a tease.

There’s apparently no escape, my sexist forefathers created a needlessly cruel name

for any action you take. If a woman’s aggressive she a ‘man-eater,’ if she’s passive she

a ‘pushover.’

   Ever wonder why some men are so demeaning and callous to so called ‘loose

women’?  The truth is that loose women have the sex drive as a man and aren’t afraid

to be satiated. (it’s actually a fairly honest assessment of your own emotions and needs)

Some men detest this because they subconsciously don’t like themselves and can’t

stand to see themselves in others.

  If a man bullies his neighbors and gets in needless fights, he’s ‘a man’s man.’ If a

woman does so, she’s a crazy (rhymes with witch) you know what. If a woman shows

her backside in a thong we call her sexy. If a man wears his pants so low he shows ‘the

great divide’ we call him… well I guess we just call him a plumber, or a teenager. But

the point is we use the double standard almost constantly when pertaining to the sexes.

In any other manner of life it’s unacceptable but not when it comes to the battle of the

sexes it’s a-okay. And what nineteen fifties nit wit dubbed relations ‘the battle of the

sexes’? There’s some poor schnook with a Hindenburg sized sample of low self

esteem.

  Until a few years ago all hurricanes were named after women. Finally when it was

proven when it comes to personality men blow just as bad women were we accepted

into the club. All Popes are men accept of course Pope Leon who no one was ever too

sure about, but did make a fabulous white wine spritzer and knew all the lyrics to every

Lisa Minelli show tune. All baseball players are men, except maybe Teddy Abernathy

who as you know threw underhanded.

  The point is these stereotypes promote fear and disgust in a society with more than it’s

share already. However getting rid of them over pollutes the already murky water of

political correctness. (Try sailing through that pond scum without a shovel and a pre-

memorized, non-caring apology) So what’s the answer? Perhaps just thinking before we

label anyone. Labels are altruisms that are hard to live down and usually wrong. Finally

if this article offends you in any way…you’re taking me way too seriously!

politics as Unusual

The Tea Party is holding their convention at "Earl's Dew Drop Inn and Radiator Repair" in Bladderleak, Iowa. The keynote address will be given by Fuzzy Kowalski if he's out on parole by then. With a special appearance by Guido Manucho. Sarah Palin's gunsmith and hairstylist!

Not to be outdone by the Republicans, the Democrats will have Sandra Lockhart read Eastwoods divorce settlement at their convention. Neener, Neener, Neener!

It seems Iraqis love American fast food. Franchise's are popping up everywhere. 'Jack in the Burka', & 'Turban Bell' I understand but they've gone too far with McHammad's Camel Pounder with goat cheese!

Researchers have discovered men who eat chocolate can lower their stroke chances. Who would've  thought a Hershey bar could help your golf game?

Allstate has announced the worst drivers in America are in our nations capitol. I think that's unfair. Any senator can tell you how hard it is to drive while e-mailing nude pictures of themselves.

President Obama has been busy helping the victims of Hurricane Issac. He reassured the people saying, "Don't worry you'll each be receiving the 6,000 page application for your Obama-Care benefits in the mail...of course that's if you still have a mailbox."

Ann Romney won over the crowd last night at the R.N.C. with her heartwarming story of years ago when she and Mitt had to use an ironing board as a dinner table. She later explained that she and Mitt had never seen an ironing board before because as she put it, "that's probably something the servants use I suppose", and that they actually thought it was a table from Ikea.

The opening speech at the Republican National Convention really got the crowd going. It was particularly stirring when Chris Christie got crazy and tried to get Dunkin Donuts designated a National Shrine! (go figure?)

Jesus, the Original Metro-sexual?

Jesus, the Original Metrosexual?

   Was Jesus the original metro-sexual and what exactly does that mean for us? The

bible tells us that Jesus had the best qualities of both sexes; the strength and conviction

of a man and the patience and nurturing of a woman. I realize these are gender

stereotypes. I’m not agreeing, I’m just reporting. I know several so called metrosexuals.

They’re all overly cultured to the point of being boring snobs. To their detrement they’ve

got so much culture they’re arrogant ‘know it alls’. I don’t like ‘know it alls’. They’re too

much like me.

  Men and women have different Gods. Women worship shoes, sentimentality, and

security, while men worship muscle cars, meatloaf, and heavy machinery. Watch

women with friends at a restaurant. Someone will pickup the bill and announce, “Okay

who had the cob salad?” Then they all have to look at the bill individually, pass it around

and do the math on a table napkin. It’s as if they’re drawing schematics for the space

shuttle. Everything has to be done precisely down to the last dime. It usually takes

longer to calculate the bill for the meal than it did to actually eat the meal.

  Men on the other hand have a simpler method. Whoever’s closet to where the bill

landed on the table picks it up, turns his head at an angle like the RCA dog, study’s it as

if he’s been handed Egyptian hieroglyphics and loudly demands “Okay, all you assholes

owe me eight bucks”. Not quite as polite I suppose but a lot less nit-picky and unless a

fight immediately ensues male bonding has taken place. What would Jesus do you ask?

He’d probably pick up the bill miraculously know in an instant (remember his step dad

was a carpenter they have to be good at math) exactly what everybody owes including

tax and gratuity and announce, “Whoever had the cob salad is going to Hell.”  If he felt

his real dad was on his side he might even add a “Gad Damn it!” for effect. Remember

metrosexuals are constantly pulling those over the top dramatic antics. You should see

them at a Lady GaGa concert.

  The original aspect of metrosexuality was to invent a new form of culture snob who

was more civilized than the rest of us mouth-breathing, knuckle draggers and thus have

yet another reason to look down on us flannel wearing, pickup driving average slobs.

But something happened along the road to arrogantville. Johnny Sixpack out in

Bladderleak, Iowa got the internet and all the info, cultivation, and urbanity that came

with it. (not to mention porn, video games, and a million other ways to waste your time).

    Now Lenny Lunchbox with a modem in Braindead, Arkansas had an even playing

field and all the refinement his tiny little frontal lobe could absorb.

  The upshot…Jesus may have been a metrosexual but by the very nature of his being

it would have to be sans the attitude. I mean come on, the guy was here for a blood

atonement self-sacrifice. Even if it wasn’t yet revealed to him he had to suspect that was

gonna hurt! Between dodging Romans, turning water into wine, and raising folks from

the dead I doubt he had a lot of time to look down his nose at the less dignified. I prefer

to think of Jesus as not a metrosexual but more an urban communalist. Sure he had it,

but he never had to flaunt 

Have The Oil Companies Abandoned America?

Have The Oil Companies Abandoned America?

   With the deregulation of big business a few decades ago America saw the oil companies rush to merger Exxon/Mobil, BP/Amoco, Conoco/Phillips to name a few. It shouldn’t be surprising that when you eliminate competition monopolies can control the market by setting their own price no matter how it damages the economy around them.

  Sometimes this enormous power backfires. For instance Arco was forced to pay 187 million dollars for restoration of 120 miles in Montana (outside Butte) and the pollution of The Clark Fork River. In 2009 Chevron/Texaco was forced to pay 350 million to the nation of Ecuador after making 1,700 hectares of pristine Amazon rain forest completely uninhabitable and displacing 15 indigenous tribes. The company went so far as to create fake on-line news reports declaring the area not affected. The fine for the Exxon Valdez Alaskan disaster was 99 million dollars. That’s four days profit for Exxon/Mobil and decades later victims are still waiting for restitution.

  Am I blaming the oil companies? Certainly not, with big investments come big challenges and responsibilities. Sometimes enormous projects have enormously disastrous consequences. According to several environmental organizations Sunoco has the best green record.

  Why does gas always creep up towards $4.00 a gallon only to slip back down just below the $4.00 level? When gas reaches $4.00 independent producers in Pennsylvania, Texas, and Colorado can afford to re-start long dormant oil derricks and sell to independents like Sinclair. The large conglomerates don’t want that competition.

  I do however blame our celebrity obsessed media for wasting air time on useless fame whores and neglecting serious investigative reporting. Matt Lauer interviewed the CEO of Exxon/Mobil. I believe it was Rex Tillerson who repeated the mantra ‘It’s the law of supply and demand’ like an android in a Brooks Brothers three piece to every question Lauer asked concerning pricing. I don’t blame Tillerson. He’s a company man towing the company line, no matter how greasy and soiled it gets. I blame Lauer’s producer for forcing him to ask softball questions. I think what America wanted Lauer to ask was, ‘Look I understand you can demand a fair price, but do you have to charge so much that it’s hurting your own country?’ Exxon/Mobil being a HUGE sponsor precluded that type of question from ever being asked.

  What’s the point? The oil companies have a God awful reputation. A reputation any single company could turn around instantly and use the publicity stunt to make billions. If just one of the big three; BP, Chevron, Exxon were to step up and proclaim ‘In an attempt to stabilize the economy we’re going to see gas in America and only in America for the next two years at no more than $3.00 a gallon’. They’d be instant heroes, save the economy, and by undercutting the other companies make billions. Records show any one of the giant oil corporations could easily absorb this type of two year fire sale. People will say it’s not that simple, but truly it is. The oil companies are truly betraying their own country for economic gains. Are they any different than a gun runner in Africa? This is a golden opportunity for a company that sees the big picture.        

Are Un-American Activities, Corporate Sabotage?

Are Un-American Activities, Corporate Sabotage?

   As America enters into another year of economic hardship the corporate sector seems to want to blame everything from the European markets to the Social Security program. The Tea Party has even suggested putting an end to SS. It’s a source of anxiety for an inflated baby boomer retirement populace but shut it down and the government has to find a new source to barrow from. You’d see the government literally go broke within months. Also, be prepared to absorb the costs of grandma and grandpa moving back in with you.

  Corporate America also wants to vilify the ‘occupy’ movement for pointing out corruption in the banking industry. The movement itself was so disorganized it did little to change anything economically. But to call them un-American is like Lindsey Lohan calling Charlie Sheen irresponsible.

  During the Civil War era Lincoln could’ve saved millions by shipping in lumber from Europe. He resisted and railroad ties were made from American lumber thusly keeping income and jobs here. When soldiers saw the ties being shipped they referred to them as ‘Lincoln logs’. That’s where the popular toy of the 50’s took its name.

  The point is where is the loyalty when companies outsource to other nations rather than pay minimum wage? Isn’t this un-American activity? At the very least it’s economic sabotage. The laws against industrial espionage can land an individual in prison for up to ten years and a half million dollar fine. Companies can be fined up to ten million. But there’s virtually nothing to keep company’s from turning on their own nation financially.

  For a company to outsource jobs overseas they should have to prove economic hardship. I’m not against outsourcing if it saves a company from going bankrupt. Take a look at some well known outsourced corporations. I doubt any are on the verge of insolvency.

  These companies include; ADC, Aetna, Alamo rentals, Alcoa Aluminum, Apple, AT&T, Bank One,  Bank of America, Capitol One, Citigroup, Coca Cola, Walgreens, Time Warner, Sprint, Safeway, Sun Trust Banks, Quest, Pepsi, Nike, Nabisco, IBM, Home Depot,  GM,  Ford, Exxon/Mobile, and a host of others.

  People like Michael Jordan who’ve made millions off Nike should be particularly ashamed. The company has long been under suspicion of forced slave labor and sweat shops overseas. Considering his heritage this is an appalling situation.

  The entire garment industry has moved to Cambodia, Vietnam, and India. To find more desperate people they’d have to teach aboriginals living in mud-huts to sew. Today loyal brands like ‘Union House’, ‘Pointer Brands’ and others are attempting to bring the industry back. But the bottom line is these companies are rare.

  The American corporations moving jobs overseas are truly disloyal to their own nation and they should take responsibility for the recession they’ve help create.         

#economic #politics #financial #money 

The Absolute Worst Pick Up Lines

The Absolute Worst Pick-up Lines

Oh yeah, well if I was the last man on earth and you the last woman, I’d be saving myself for someone better than you!

Would you care for another roofee?

When my lip fungus and groin rash heal can I call you?

Because of your immense size, non-distinct features and overgrown body hair I can’t actually tell your gender, but if I guess it correctly will you come home with me? 

I’m fairly sure you can write this off as a charitable act.

I bet you were really hot 30 years ago.

So you’re not saying ‘never.’ I just have to wait till it freezes over, right?

You may remember me as the child star ‘Little Schwinkee’ on the 50’s sitcom “Daddy Does the Maid”.

Hey if I’d lose 50 pounds and have plastic surgery I would be a Clooney look-a-like! 

Do you have change for a 50? I used my last hundred to light my imported cigar’

I once co-starred in the school play ‘Beauty and the Beast.’ Guess who I played?

That outfit would look so good on someone with a better figure.

Source: petechristensen.com

• 6 DAYS AGO

Instant Economic Injections

Instant Economic Injections

Ways to Instantly Improve the U.S. Economy

  Instant stimulus sounds like a pipe dream but there are ways to infuse the American people with quick cash and turn the economy around. Republicans point to President Obama’s stimulus plan with disdain claiming it a failure. Economist agreed saying instead of going on spending sprees the middle class paid their bills. How dare we be responsible. Remember we’re the ones that caused the housing downfall by actually thinking we could have the American dream of home ownership. Rubber stamp foreclosures, collusion by Goldman Sachs, and the refusal of banks to renegotiate balloon payments had nothing to do with it.

  During the depression a moratorium was put in place to stop foreclosures. It had a stop gap affect we still profit from today. However at the height of home repossessions not only did politicians fail to stand up to the banks they actually called for a bail out by the very public who were being evicted. I guess the idea was ‘get out and don’t forget my handout as the door hits you from behind.’

  Now that we’re in this situation partisan politics is so rampant it may take many more years to repair rather than need be. All so certain elected officials can make political gain at the suffering of their constituents.

  I suggest some radical actions to repair a radically broken economic system. First open trade with Cuba. Keeping sanctions on a tiny nation that poses little threat in their current condition hurts us just as much as it hurts them. Qualify this trade by specifically stating all trade items must enter the states through Louisiana ports, therefore helping one of our most devastated states back on its feet. We stand to make millions while they improve their standard of living and possibly see us as an ally.

  Second make marijuana legal in the poorest state in the nation; Arkansas. (and ONLY in Arkansas!) This state has suffered in poverty for years and the result is a meth amphetamine culture deeply enrooted in the hopelessness of its people. By making marijuana legal both for its medicinal and industrial uses you’d infuse the area with jobs and probably replace a hard drug that’s illegal and leads to schizophrenia with one no more dangerous than alcohol that leads to eating snacks and inactivity. Tell me it’s not the lesser of two evils. This would also help eliminate the criminal element thriving in the state and save millions in drug enforcement expenses.

  Third, and most effective take every lottery worth one hundred and twelve million dollars or more and award it in increments of $10,000. That’s twelve thousand winners in each state every week. More when you consider the Super power-ball styled games. Make these checks marked for use within thirty days to induce immediate spending.

  In the past super winners buy cars, houses and much more but their wealth isn’t spread throughout the entire community. The trickle down theory doesn’t work well with a single winner. Multiple winners in multiple cities would correct that.

  I realize these are radical moves but examine the lives people are leading now and ask yourself how many years will they continue to suffer? How long did the great depression last? Can we expect the economic turnaround within the next decade or in three or four? What’s the worst that could happen? We’d be forced to repeal several laws if they failed. We’ve done it hundreds of times before in our history with little or no lasting affect.       

Source: petechristensen.com